Healing · Spiritual

How to heal with gratitude

Gratitude is an alchemic emotion. When a person is experiencing gratitude i.e., feeling thankful for something; it is impossible for the person to be angry or bitter at the same time. Usually, a human’s emotional body is quite complex and many emotions can exist side-by-side. But, when a human charges their emotional body with gratitude – no negative emotions can exist along with gratitude for the time being. Fear can soon come in after a human is done feeling gratitude, but not along side it. To make sure that ‘fear’ doesn’t come after gratitude, the other emotion needed is ‘faith’ – but that’s a whole different story.

Healing with gratitude is a very ‘feminine energy’ way of healing. It does not specifically look at a wound or hurt, try to analyse it and then try to find ways of healing the issue – this process is very ‘masculine energy’ based – logical, analytical. Healing with gratitude, does not go into the depth of a particular issue, it is more holistic. It is healing by surrender and alchemy – very magical, just like the feminine energies. For a person like me, and I think most of us nowadays – who are used to being more in their masculine energy of  being logical, analytical and deep diving into issues – it requires some patience and practice to cultivate the act of being grateful. Because masculine energy is always out to fix problems and issues, it becomes a natural habit for people in this energy to always strive to improve – which in turn means looking at short-comings and trying to overcome them.

This itself is against the emotion of gratitude in which there is an inherent element of being content in the current condition. The true emotion actually even goes beyond being content – it goes to the extent of bowing your head to the event/person/entity which is causing this feeling of being thankful. The very moment a person experiences this, the ego dissolves for how many ever moments gratitude is experienced and with this ego dissolution – all the ego-based emotions (coming from the Manipur chakra i.e., Solar plexus chakra) disappear. In Buddhism this can be described as when the cause is removed, it’s effect gets removed too. That is why, the emotions of fear, hatred, jealousy, envy, anger, bitterness, etc. which are ego-based cannot exist along with gratitude. Gratitude alchemizes these lower vibration emotions and converts them to love. Love toward the event/person/entity that we feel grateful for. This love also is an ego-free love, a devotional love.

How then can one cultivate gratitude? Here are some ways :

  1. Make a list of things you are grateful for. Keep it with you in your phone. Read it multiple times in a day.
  2. Doing something that ignites your passion. This will make you a magnet for gratitude.
  3. Helping those less fortunate than you are.
  4. Being open about asking for help and making it a point to thank whoever helped you.
  5. Make a list of the tough situations in your life and list all the people who helped you out from it. If something else helped you come out of it – music, books, spirituality, exercise, art, adventure – you can make a list of these. Thank each of them again, if you haven’t already.
  6. Go out in nature and admire whichever aspect of nature you like.
  7. Look at a thing of beauty – this maybe a person, a mountain, a tree, anything – and try to get lost in it’s details. The moment you are completely lost in its beauty is the the moment gratitude will automatically flood your heart.
  8. Say ‘thank you’ whenever you get the chance to.

Once you start magnetizing your being with gratitude, you will start attracting more things to be grateful for. Little by little, your life will start moving from a materialistic realm to a more spiritual realm – where magical synchronicities will fill your life – giving you more and more events/persons/entities to be thankful for.

Here are some songs which I think are the same frequency as gratitude. They talk of different religions, but I find their vibrations to be very similar (P.S.: Not my intention to endorse any of these religions)

  • My everything – Owl City
  • Aaqa – Abida Parveen, Ali Sethi
  • Bolava Vitthal – Mahesh Kale
Healing

How to heal the ‘mother’ wound?

Most of us suffer from a ‘mother wound’. In quite simple words – this is a wound that a child feels when their mother makes them feel – ‘You are not good enough’. This feeling can happen when a child is a baby, toddler, teen or even as an adult. This wound however, doesn’t show up overtly in most people but mostly covertly, in the behaviors described below. If you recognize it yourself, then perhaps you do need to do some ancestral healing.

The cause of this feeling is co-dependency. This co-dependency certainly makes sense as an infant – because an infant is completely dependent on it’s mother for survival. But even as a child grows, parents are the main and most important mirrors for a child. Mirrors meaning they show the child his/her worth, build their ego/identity and bolster them. They are the obvious safe space for the child. This role is mostly fulfilled by a mom as stereotypically, men have not been as involved in child raising (not true in all cases, of course).

Described above is the ideal case, however, most of the time we find ourselves in not so ideal situations 🙂 A mother is often stressed, oppressed and quite frankly, totally oblivious to her internal state most of the time. She might be emotionally abusive or absent, overbearing, completely self-sacrificing with zero boundaries, projecting a lot of her fears, anxieties and complexes over her child/children, overly demanding, overly victim mindset oriented, pitting one child against another or narcissistic. Another common pattern is the mother handling down to a child, all the toxic emotion that her husband might have given her. Making the child almost like a substitute for the detached husband. Again, I would like to emphasize that not all of this happens in the real world by spoken words or actions – but energetically, and a child can sense it out – at a conscious or at a subconscious level.

In which case would a mother wound not occur? It would not occur if the mother is a completely healed and a whole human in herself, who is capable of giving real ‘unconditional love’, if not always – then most of the time. This is obviously a tall order for any human.

This ‘mother wound’ can show itself in one or more of the following ways in the child’s life :

  1. Co-dependency, excessive neediness or excessive detachment in relationships.
  2. Lack of self-worth.
  3. Poor boundaries.
  4. Self-sabotaging tendencies when meeting success in life, core negative outlook (with the internal feeling that ‘I don’t deserve this’).
  5. People pleasing tendencies.
  6. Problems with accepting love. (with the internal feeling of ‘I don’t deserve this love’).
  7. Problems trusting others who show them love (with the internal feeling that ‘What do they want from me?’).
  8. Weird sexual fantasies and fetishes (especially for male child).
  9. Fear of abandonment and intimacy issues (with the internal feeling that ‘I don’t want to depend on anyone’) This is actually repression of feminine energies in oneself – as the feminine energies remind the adult of their mother.
  10. Constant comparison with others to seek validation for ourself.
  11. Feeling of betrayal if someone we love does something against our wishes.

How then can one heal this ‘mother’ wound? I am listing some techniques below.

  1. Realize that your mother was just a human – the idea of a ‘perfect mother’ is a complete oversell by society.
  2. Realize that your mother (who might be at least 20+ years older than you) grew up in times where she was probably not shown this unditional love as well. She might not have been shown any love actually. She is probably passing on this ‘mother’ wound – of feeling worthless or not good enough to you.
  3. Realize that your mother must have been fighting her own battles in a male dominated society without the proper means to get emotional help, understanding or education. She must not have any time to heal from all the emotional wounds that she had.
  4. Start a practice of self-love. If your mother did or does not love you unconditionally – then you do it. Love yourself unconditionally. If you have a mother who points out all of your so-called ‘flaws’ (physical or personality based), then realize that you have the power to LOVE your so-called ‘flaws’ and own them completely as a part of yourself.
  5. Energetic cord cutting and aura cleansing might also help.
  6. Hypnotherapy and childhood regression might also be helpful.
  7. Psychotherapy is also helpful.
  8. Chakras affected by this are – root chakra (Muladhar chakra), sacral chakra (Svadhishtan chakra), solar plexus chakra (Manipur chakra) and heart chakra (Anahata chakra). Work on healing these chakras.
  9. Get comfortable with your feminine energies of ‘being’, loving, kindness, waiting, praying, etc.

Hope this helps! Wish you all a lot of love and light 🙂

Healing

How men store stress in their body

Disclaimer: All of these views are my own from my own experiences. I am not a man hater & what I have observed may not apply to all men.

Stress was a very important emotion which kept humans and many other living beings alive through the ages. The ages where the world was savage and all about survival. But fortunately for most of us, stress is not a primary emotion anymore. Nowadays, usually it is an emotion which gets created when a human is storing many other repressed emotions inside their body-mind complex. It’s very interesting how men and women store stress differently in their bodies.

So how do men store stress? They usually store it in 4 places : Jaw, Shoulders, Lower back and Feet.

Jaw and Shoulders: Have you seen a man clenching his jaw? There might be a big chance that this man is not speaking his truth, and usually it is not because he is scared or inauthentic – but because he has a lot of responsibilities  to fulfill which he thinks might get jeopardized if he expresses himself in his most authentic form. This is related to the throat chakra (Vishuddha Chakra). Also, check if the guy always keeps his shoulders slightly raised up instead of keeping them relaxed – another sign that he is stressed.

Lower back and Feet: Let me tell you a secret, men get hurt too. I frankly feel most men have fooled themselves into thinking that ‘they don’t feel hurt – because they are a man’. This is not their fault though, evolutionarily men were the hunters, the gatherers, the protectors, the warriors, the soldiers and therefore, it was indispensable for them to be a bit unemotional, a bit indifferent to hurt. Again, fortunately most men in the world today might not have to physically endanger their life to provide for others. However, different feelings come up in life, but men seem to have lost a way to express it over the ages and due to societal conditioning.

The primary feelings that come up in men (or boys) are usually heart based feelings – feeling of hurt, being abandoned, feeling betrayed, feeling taken advantage of – but they try not to feel these, deny them and repress them. This results in a blockage to the energy flow from their heart chakra (Anahata Chakra) and due to repression this energy usually goes back to the solar plexus chakra (Manipur Chakra). Here it expresses itself as anger.

Now, anger is an emotion that most men seem to be ok with. They are able to express it, but expressing anger incorrectly can do irreparable damage. So overtime, they start suppressing this anger too.  This is the time when any emotion that is too heavy to handle will quickly turn into stress. This results in lower back pain.

Feet get affected too because in all of these repressions – a man is still trying hard to be a solid foundation, appearing cool, collected and be grounded in the midst of this chaos that keeps brewing inside of him.


 

If you have a male in your life who maybe in a stressful work environment or any other stressful environment and you want to try reducing their stress – I highly recommend giving them massages in the following areas :

Problem Area : Clenched Jaw and non-relaxed shoulders. Give him an upper body massage. Maybe shoulders, back, hands, jaw and forehead.

Problem Area : Lower back and feet. Give him a full shoulders and back massage, followed by a foot massage.

 


 

And if you are a man reading this, please notice these signs in yourself and please go easy on yourself. Lifting crazy weights and pushing your body endlessly might transmute some of your anger but it is going to leave your body sore and agitated. So it has to be done only in moderation.

Take care of your inner world and don’t worry about always trying to be ‘strong and silent’. If you are acting from your awoken part – you are going to be our hero, always!  <3

 Image credit : Warner Bros.

Khalil Gibran · love · Poem · Poetry · Spiritual

Gibran poem interpretation – On Children

Here is my interpretation of Gibran’s poem ‘On Children’

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts, 
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, 
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, 
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, 
and He bends you with His might 
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies, 
so He loves also the bow that is stable.

In this poem, Khalil Gibran – who himself did not have any child, is giving a message to parents about their children. He says that the children who are born to you – are not yours, you as parents do not ‘own’ or ‘posses’ them. You and your partner have been chosen by God to be the channel for this life – body, soul and spirit – to come into existence. You are to give them love and care, you will take care of their needs until the time they can do it for themselves – but that does not mean that in return for this you indoctrinate them with your thoughts. If you let them have thoughts of their own, they will surprise you with their brilliance. He says instead of teaching them, we can learn from them and strive to be like them. He says that parents are the bow from which the children shoot forward as the arrows – and God is the archer, orchestrating all of this. He says, be glad – you have this joy of being a parent – do all you do for your children in that gladness. For as God loves the brilliant arrows being shot forward – he similarly loves a bow which is strong, balanced, grounded and stable. He is basically, asking the parents to be a solid foundation for the children; solve your own issues – so that you don’t shake up your child’s childhood by your own mental imbalances; grow up first – before you try to help them grow up.

Taken from The Prophet by Khalil Gibran

Image credits : me 🙂

Marathi · Poem · Poetry · Spiritual

Marathi poem with translation – मनाचा आरसा (Mind’s mirror)

मनाचा आरसा

आपल्या सर्वांमधे असतो एक आरसा
हा कधी दिसत नाही
पण आपल्या असण्याची
जाणीव नेहमी करून देतो

ज्या भावना आपण स्वतःशी लपवतो
त्यांचं प्रतिबिंब हा दाखवतो
कधी स्वप्नांमधे,
कधी ह्या जीवनाच्या स्वप्नात

हा सगळं शोधून काढतो
आणि मग ह्या मोह-माये मधे
त्या भावनांना व्यक्त करतो
चांगल्या-वाईट परिस्थितीनमध्ये झोकतो

हे सगळं हा आपल्यासाठीच करतो
आपण आपल्या भावनांचे मान करावे
त्यांना शुद्रांसारखे दूर न ढकलता
त्यांच्यामधे पूर्णपणे एकरूप होऊन
त्यानां आपलाच भाग बनवावे
हीच या आरश्याची इच्छा

आरसा म्हणतो,
आरे माणसा, ज्या दिवशी
माझ्यामध्ये मला काहीच दिसणार नाही
त्या दिवशी मी फुटणार आणि
माझ्यासोबत तू ही मुक्त

राधिका

Here is a rough translation of the poem in English :
Inside all of us, there is a mirror – mind’s mirror
We cannot see it, but it makes it’s presence felt.
Whichever feelings we suppress,
This mirror shows us it’s reflection
Either in dreams or in this illusionary world that we live in.
The mirror pushes us into worldly situations
Where we are made to feel these suppressed emotions again
It does this so that we see this feeling, acknowledge it and make it a part of our own being instead of disowning it.
The mirror tells us ‘Human, the day I see no reflection in myself – I will get destroyed and along with me, you will be free from this cycle of Samsara (life, death and rebirth)’
Image credit : https://teejaw.com/self-reflection-can-be-good-for-you/
feel good · Poem · Poetry

Life breaks us all

Life breaks us all

In a million different ways

We all walk around

With holes in our soul

 

Try to look at others

Through these holes

In some you will find

Disease, decay and death

Some will have a light so pure

Like one you have never seen before

 

Image credit : http://www.soultraveller.net/authors/book-reviews/every-day-lightworker/